Bésame Ouzo ~perfume romantic -fantasticheria :)

Bésame Ouzo still finishing but adore where this is headed with some final mods. I have a two I'm rather torn between. Regarding anise notes- The anise seed and star anise (heavily ones from Zoils on Etsy) can make all the difference betwween going etheral powder and liqorice candy if I felt. I adore the once difficult for me anise notes-basil, fennel, tarragon, tagetes, adding angelica co2 ( A favorite material wish I had a gallon) overload with coriander, mace, green on more green mastic-bourbon vetiver. Ambergris sea with more moss of oakmoss more sea ambrain sea labdanum, clary sage, sweet ambrette plop me straight please if you would with a little cypress right in the memories of being everyday, windswept in rain, cold by the seaweed sandy beach or rocky beach kelp lined lung bracing ocean air -flowing in from the channel in fjords - So fresh so much green and air so clean! Who knew that the mid of 2021 whould find me growing up and loving geranium and lavender of ever kind. This time away I am determined to get less cluttered- anxious with making others happy with packages ariving while barely being able to breathe- questioning my talent among a gazillion bottles of perfume houses playimg monkey see monkey do and instagram fawning over the next perfumer with out telling them they're not wearing any clothes ( or their perfume really could have used two more years of experirnce before asking for adoration but they'll buy bottles and yadda yadda we know the story..) I will finally after so distracted from feeling self esteem squashed to rebuild and meed to get back with the material world -books - - these are books you like-pick out some music- be ok that i am ok. sooth organize,focus one on one with my beloved materials. Time with those tiny little bottles of gorgeous natural materials that make me swoon. Tiny 2.ml bottles- well many are $20.00 that adds up. I poverty shame myself more than anyone- ( except those folks ... no no not going to go there) but what I could do with more! It is having so little that requires to be extra careful. Each unrealized attempt is excruciating and financially a blow. So it is on me. Creative gambling on myself for my own learning and enjoyment. Will I see my intentions -visions come to scent life??? Cue: teary eyed black and white movie - spot light shining down, music an holy beautific sounding church female choir of ahhhs and heard from a perfume organ in prayer: "Please oh please precious materials- let me be WORTHY OF YOU!" ( pretty funny stuff this perfume creation haha)